May 2013
dampsandwich:
the entire school was burning down and i had to pull the fire alarm. i sprinted over to it. there was writing on it in permanent ink. it said: if you pull this down you are gay. no way was i pulling the fire alarm anymore
dracosferret:
[FIRE CANNOT KILL A DRAGON] i shout as my shower decides to burn hotter than the surface of the sun.
“I had love once in the palm of my hand.
See the lines there.”
– John Wieners, from “A Poem for Painters” (thanks, deskofalex)
mriloveyourhat:
thymoanesthesia:
mriloveyourhat:
how do I get a video off of my phone and onto my laptop… I’m really confused
throw your phone at the wall, collapse into an emotional heap and then eat copious amounts of chocolate.
Those instructions weren’t clear enough, a bear is now beating me with an umbrella
ifyouhadwings:
teamniceboyfriends:
IF YOU DON’T SHIP MY OTP I SWEAR TO GOD i’ll be okay with that
YOU DON’T LIKE MY FAVORITE THING, I’M GONNA respect the fact that you have your own taste
“There is a little truth behind every just kidding. A little curiosity behind...”
– (via picsandquotes)
audreyii-fic:
padalacki:
padalacki:
padalacki:
if you wanna be my lover, you gotta watch doctor who
you also should watch sherlock
supernatural toooo-oooo
wizardsandhijack:
hospitalf0rsouls:
Omfg so if Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God…
did Mary have a little lamb?
you broke the world
blein:
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
mickiemilkovich:
why do bad movies happen to good actors
so i wanted to start a revolution
sorry-so-sorry:
so obviously i went on omegle looking for potential revolutionaries
ok let me try again
what
that’s not exactly what i was looking for but
…
um
dang i thought i was getting somewhere
yES I HAVE FOUND SOMEONE TO JOIN IN MY CRUSADE
watchtheskytonight:
hightimeslowtides:
emilygt:
dinosaurs-on-wheels:
where can I uninstall my period
i think if you download pregnancy it blocks it for a few months but then you get a really annoying loud pop up that doesn’t go away for 18 years
omg
ah, the geek is strong in this post
1 tag
Ich geh jetzt ins Bett.
Nightynight
4 tags
Oooooooooh mein Gott, morgen muss ich packen und Druckerpapier kaufen und ein Ticket für Doctorwhoexperience kaufen und einen Adapter für England kaufen und zur Rückenmassage gehen und den Anhänger von der Werkstatt abholen und duschen und VOR ALLEM PACKEN. OH MEIN GOTT ich bin SO AUFGEREGT wegen London, aaaaaaaaaaaaaalter. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUnd ich muss noch meiner Gastmutter eine Email...
muggleland:
the ceo of abercrombie and fitch has a lot of nerve saying that ugly people shouldn’t wear his clothes when he looks like an albino orc from the lord of the rings
bullied:
i like online shopping and putting everything i want in a cart then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab
5 tags
dudeyourenotsam:
BUT SARAH DIDN’T EVEN HAVE SEX WITH SAM
1 tag
jatyljarma:
sp0radic:
galehawthorne:
how do you get a boyfriend when you don’t leave your room
#have you seen Tangled
you hit the first boy to enter your room with a frying pan
1 tag
tea-britannia:
kestrel-bird:
combeferresque:
fourfucks:
all fandoms have that one fucking overused quote that is on 99.9% of the edits
#genius billionaire playboy philanthropist gripped you tight and raised you from a highly functioning sociopath and i swear we were infinite
always
i dont know if youre agreeing or adding in harry potter
tony-wiseau:
atkid:
everyflight-beginswith-afall:
weaponizedwit:
cutintostars:
I like how it’s “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” and “Thor: The Dark World” and then Iron Man is just like, fuck the bullshit, we’re just callin’ this thing “Iron Man 3”.
Because a secondary title would imply it’s also about something other than Iron Man. And we all know how well that would work out.
...
“Why Society Still Needs Feminism
Because to men, a key is a device to open...”
– Caitlin O’Donnell, Drake University. (via on-another-note)
playmelikeyourstratovarius:
zuky:
mishachu:
funeralfrost:
Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’.
starring helena bonham carter as johnny depp
Co-starring Johnny Depp as Helena Bonham Carter.
in claymation
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: avoids getting in the shower
me: gets in the shower
me: i have ARRIVED IN PARADISE AND I SHALL NEVER LEAVE
